We have fraternal twin-boys, premature born 34+5 via emergency c-section on 24 August 2016.
Pregnancy was a nightmare for me as Elian only grew very slowly and at some point stopped growing completely (-> emergency c-section). They were in Nicu for 1 week (Kian) respectively 3 weeks (Elian). All that anxiety and worries led to a post-natal depression which eventually got better after 4 months.
Once they were born I was at home with them for one year, they then went to a nursery in Zurich/Switzerland for three full days as I continued working in Investment Banking with reduced hours. I have quit my job in January 2019 as we moved from Switzerland to London due to my husband’s new work commitment and am since at home with the boys.
Although both boys are very outgoing, smart, cheeky and full of energy, they not only look very different, they each have a very different character.
He’s very sensible and caring, big awareness for safety for his family, most of the time he does the things we would tell or explain to him;
He is a very warm, loving character and loves to laugh. His teacher recently described him as a very outgoing and loud personality (= class clown in a positive meaning), but only if he’s in a well-known environment where he feels confident. He needs one go-to person who he can focus on. This is mostly the person who takes care of him most of the time (mostly mummy and one of his teachers he has chosen at school). Other persons are not allowed to even dress or shower him (e.g. his dad) or sit next to him at the dinner-table, otherwise it would end in a big melt-down.
He currently wants to do everything pedantically autonomously, which ends sometimes in dangerous situations. His favourite word is currently ‘no’, and he hardly accepts a ‘no’. He is very strong-willed. If he gets angry or doesn’t get his will, he sometimes would slap me or my husband or beat/bite his brother.
He also doesn’t want to let me go every morning when I drop them at school, it is a big challenge for me and the teachers every day. I even got questions from other parents already, if our boys didn’t settle well yet… (they watch the escalation every morning as well).
We need mainly advice on behaviour-related things: How to teach them table-manners (they won’t sit still for their meals, although we have and never had issues with eating healthy food), how to successfully teach them and make them follow necessary rules and how to improve the bedtime-window (it will take up to 1 hour until they finally fall asleep). Especially Kian would call me in 20 times to ask me any random questions, 3 times toilet (although he was doing a pee 5 minutes before), wants to drink water, would run out of his room another 20 times, looking for his cuddly toy and want mummy to come and cover him with his blanket again and again. We tried all different versions bringing them to bed, reading a book (they can’t concentrate on one sentence and would not sit still let alone lie in their beds), singing lullabies, make plans for the next day etc., nothing helped to make a difference.
Bedtime meanwhile escalated that much, that Elian begs his brother to be quiet and starts crying (they are sharing a room). I had a nervous breakdown once as I can’t handle the situation anymore, I am just continuously exhausted. Lately my husband is hardly allowed to get involved in bedtime as they only accept mummy, hence he’s helpless too.
We gave up dummies when they started school in September 2019, I never breastfed, they don’t have a milk-bottle anymore since they were 1 year, no co-sleeping. They sleep solid 12 hours as soon as they fall asleep, beside one nightly pee of Elian.
I think we are blessed with many things other parents still battle with (sleeping through, eating fruits, veggies, fish and meat etc.), but we are facing different challenges.
During school term:
07:15 wake up, getting dressed
07:45 breakfast
08:10 school run
15:00 school pick up
15:30 – 17:30 depending how tired they are from school we either go home and play (toys) / relax (ipad) or we do activities outside (playground)
17:30 shower
18:00 waiting for daddy to come back from work, so that we can have a dinner together as a family
19:00 bedtime
During holidays:
08:00 wake up, getting dressed
09:00 breakfast
10:00 – 12:30 Playing at home, while mummy does housework, laundry, preparing lunch etc.
12:30 lunch
13:30 we go outside with our bikes or scooters in the park, visiting the zoo or playgrounds etc.
17:00 back home: play (toys) / relax (ipad) while mummy prepares dinner
18:00 waiting for daddy to come back from work, so that we can have a dinner together as a family
19:00 shower
20:00 bedtime
