Robyn – now 3 years – from Tricia & Gordon

1/ We have become quite inconsistent with the putting to bed schedule- Most nights I will start by reading 1-2 books from a chair next to her crib. Then Tricia arrives and she enjoys reading to Robyn from inside Robyn’s crib (being inside the crib with Robyn), and they read another 2 books and story time which obviously, both Tricia & Robyn enjoys. When I (Gordon) do it without Mum (Tricia) around, I read from outside the crib. If mum is not coming to read to her (say mum has a business dinner), Robyn would normally cry/whine a bit going into the room.

2/ ‘Problems’ (persistent waking up in the middle of the night, climbing out of the crib etc) started when she got really quite ill over Easter while we were away in Center Parcs. She had a very serious cold/flu and was waking up sneezing and would get upset as snot all over her face etc.  Therefore, because there was so much snot, someone had to be next to her to wipe it away in the middle of the night.  Therefore, for those 3-4 nights in Center Parcs, one of us would co-sleep with Robyn in the big adult bed. She was still waking up when she would sneeze but we could wipe her face for her etc, and she would immediately fall straight back asleep.

After that horrible mistake of co-sleeping with her in the bed, Robyn started waking up more at night (about three times on average) and not being able to self soothe.

Also in fairness probably before then sometimes we had had to stay in her room for her to be happy going to sleep. But this got more frequent after the illness.

Then the final straw was she got norovirus 2 weeks ago, and had a night/day of throwing up. That night we let her sleep in our master bed, and the next night she slept with Dad (Gordon) in the guest bedroom where there is also a big bed, whilst mum slept in the master bedroom. Since then Robyn won’t go to sleep without one of us in the room, wants us to sleep on the floor with her which we did (we stood our ground and have not allowed her to sleep in our room). In addition when she wakes up at night, she won’t self soothe. We have tried sneaking out once she fell asleep but when she wakes up at night she will cry hysterically, climb out of her crib, open the door, and scream for one of us. Honestly, Gordon and me were so exhausted that we gave up and ended up camping out on her floor the last three weeks, just so we can get some sleep ourselves.

3/ Maybe related: Generally, Robyn is a very ‘clingy’ , highly sensitive child. We have put it partly because both of us work / and she is taken care of by Vivi for most of the day.  Second, we noticed that her personality errs on the side of caution than most her age (for example, she is scared to venture out and explore by herself).  She does not like leaving Mum and Dad. She took a bit longer than most of her classmates to settle into preschool (although she is happy to go now). Though normally Vivi does drop off – when Tricia did it a few weeks ago, she cried a lot at drop-off, holding onto mummy’s leg. Similarly last summer we tried to leave her in a creche at the resort we stayed at- but she wouldn’t have any of it, and scared the carers there with her hysterical crying.  On the same vein, over half term Jubilee week, Grandma tried to take her to the creche at the resort, but she just cried a lot, so we received the call from the creche and had to return and pick her up after 30 mins-1hr. In general she is less bold, adventurous, explorative, carefree, gung-ho etc/ more clingy than her peer group at her nursery, and this is very clear. Not sure if this is her personality, or related to the bedtime sleep or discipline issues.